Last updated 26 May 2008

GOD IS WORKING HIS PURPOSE OUT  (March 2006)
by B. Love  

Recently, I had two things that made me try and work out why things had happened to me. My supportive friends reminded me of my Christian faith, and I did believe God was working his purpose out.  This is to say GOODBYE to all my friends in Kibworth where I have lived for about 30 or more years and brought my children up here. When I lived in Rookery Close, Richard Darke was made Vice Chairman of the Chronicle in my humble home. I was involved in the Chronicle from the start. I loved it and spent years writing for it.

When I started to write for the Parish Magazine, it was a good change from the Chronicle. I have also made some more friends via the Church. I know many people via the Chronicle and the Church, but now my mobility has made it so difficult to go up the Village now.

Having had 59 years of good health, it has been hard to come to terms with MS recently, and not being able to go up the village and see my long-term friends, who I now see very infrequently.

I was so pleased that Brian Porteous was awarded the Richard Darke Memorial this year, because it was Brian who organised the 25 year celebration of the Chronicle and so much more on the Chronicle.  When I saw him up the village he always called me Jilly. I wrote for the Chronicle as Jilly Snooper! It was a humorous column and I so enjoyed writing it.

Now, I am going to move to Oakham in May, so I must leave St. Wilfrid’s Church and all my friends in Kibworth. Many of my friends say they will come to visit me, and I was advised to invite my Bible Group too!  I will do that if I can.

My daughter has just had my second Grandchild, a girl, so I can celebrate that. There are always things to be happy about.  I shall miss all my friends in Kibworth, but perhaps I will find something new to take up. I ask myself why has this happened to me, but I do believe it is God working his purpose out.  I have loved living here and the Chronicle was a real joy to me. I was one of the people who started it all those years ago.  Goodbye to you all and I hope it all goes well for you!

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ALONENESS (May 2004)

by B. Love

For years I had an illustration by Kahlil Gibran, called “The Great Aloneness“, on my bedroom wall. It was of a woman sleeping. When I was younger, I don‘t recall being lonely. I had two children and their friends often in my house. I helped to start the Kibworth Chronicle and made many lasting friendships in the village since then. I had the staff and pupils at the school I taught at, and had endless activities. The worst solitude, is said to be “when destitute of sincere friendship “, and I was never that.  If we read John 8:12, it tells us “Jesus said, I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

To be alone, is oneness, a feeling that you are on your own. Anyone needing time to him/herself would find being left alone, a pleasure. “In silence, all things are answered”. We have time to think things through, or listen to God’s guidance. We know we can still feel lonely and in darkness. It is not always possible just to trust our Maker. We feel alone and deserted. Even Jesus felt deserted when he called out “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me,” when he was crucified, Mark 15: 34. Don‘t let us forget that we are human. We have needs.

Most of us prefer to be sociable, living amongst, or close to others. I sometimes felt lonely when the children had flown the nest, and my parents had died. Holiday times were the worst. I remember one Bank Holiday, wondering why I was so alone, when I had so much to share. It is normal for people alone, to feel that everyone else is having a good time with others!

I reflected on the point that many people, worse off than me, have periods of loneliness. Without a network, lonely souls remain invisible. Perhaps those you normally contact are not there. In a desperate moment once, I contacted the Samaritans. I worried afterwards that maybe I had been blocking the line, and someone more in need than me, could not get through.

So when the Market Harborough Volunteer‘s Bureau, discussed with me, the Good Companions Befriending Scheme, I felt this was a scheme that would definitely benefit St. Wilfrid‘s. So it would be good to address this need of our fellow travellers when the going gets tough. “When two or three are gathered together in his name, I will grant their request.”

My suggestion is that we list the ‘phone nos. of people prepared to be available one morning or afternoon a week, so that lonely people could ring them. Obviously, the idea needs careful planning, and I am prepared to work on it. Who would be prepared to support it?  Do please contact me, Barbara, on 0116 2796904. I will listen to suggestions and attempt to set up a scheme.

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A Moving Story on New Year Resolutions (March 2004)
by B. Love

I was going to write an article for February but I was busy moving. I had not really  understood until now, why moving came third, after the stresses of death and divorce. A couple who had moved on several occasions did. They said that they would only move out of their home again, in boxes. I think they meant coffins, since moving is all about boxes of stuff being all over the place for ages. Finding anything again is like looking for a needle in a haystack!

Another friend pinpointed just how moving felt. She understood my upset.  She said, “Think what happens, when you move plants to a new place in the garden. The first thing the plants do, is wilt. Eventually, they put down roots, establish themselves and hopefully flourish. If their new position doesn’t suit them, after a  while, they die.” My roots still search endlessly for what is now somewhere else. I feel rather in chaos and wonder whether I did the right thing moving at all. I continue to wilt!

So I wondered why recently, I came across amongst my disorganised chattels, my New Year’s Resolutions for 2003. A dove was drawn flying across the sheet of ten.  The tenth said ”Move!” It was hard to believe, but it was there. Did I want to move over a year ago? The lesson from that resolution is now obvious to me! I had not appreciated what I had. It had become easy to see what was not perfect. I had failed to appreciate my little house. It was a gift, as were the good neighbours.

The rest of the resolutions were about being open to opportunities coming to me, and to use prayer. Opportunities are all around us if we notice them. A new booklet called “Every Day with Jesus. Thriving Spiritually”, suddenly fell into view. It had been sent to me, by the friend, who told me of the analogy about plants. This booklet attracted my attention. Was this not an opportunity to use it for my writing on resolutions? The day’s reading was from Philippians 4: 1 – 9 “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure…think about such things.”

The reading was spot-on. It was all about how and what we think, determines the direction in which we will go to have our deep inner thirst quenched. It said the strategies people develop to feel loved, worthwhile, and that there is some point to their existence, were astonishing. Do not New Year Resolutions try to determine where we think we would like to go in our lives to make them more perfect?  Will they determine our lives go in the right direction? 

Perhaps I should think about such things as outlined in Philippians above. Perhaps I should trust more that God knows where I am going. If you have made New Year Resolutions for 2004, revisit them and ensure they help you move in the right direction. Moving has now taught me to value what is. This plant must appreciate this move more and stop wilting!

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Is Christmas Crackers? (December 2003)
by B. Love

Am I alone in thinking Christmas can be Crackers?. It starts in September. John Lewis at Milton Keynes had Christmas trees up all over the place by then.  Whatever you were buying, baubles were not far away. The local Post Office had Christmas Cards in October. Well-organised people have presents and cards ready by November. Creative souls design their own cards. The Three Kings and their camels did not have to join the jam Christmas shopping, and there would not have been a run on Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh leaving the Supermarket shelves empty. The Shepherds would have had a lamb at hand!

Christmas can be Crackers for your Holly Bush too! If you have red berries, it may well be stripped of them! Trees will also be rescued from the parasite Mistletoe to ensnare a Christmas kiss. Ivy joins the decorations and you join the children’s paper chain gang! 

Christmas can be Crackers. You end up wearing paper hats, but not for long! The size and the colour don’t suit. It sits precariously on your hairdo, or round your neck. The Cracker when pulled, shoots a not needed knickknack, into the Christmas Pudding. The joke is the same as somebody else’s, and the Cracker doesn’t bang! Have Christmas cards started arriving already? Are yours all addressed with hard-to-remember postcodes? Has Junior gone mental on the glue and glitter making his own? What cards have you chosen? I have the results of ten years of children investigating %s via 100 Christmas Cards. Old-fashioned topics, Santa, snow scenes and Christmas Trees did well, but cards about the Christmas story were the lowest % each year. 

Getting gifts can be Crackers! My sister always sends them to my brother’s family in Sweden . When I sent them unwittingly, as well, one year, Christmas really did become crackers! The jokes didn’t translate very easily to put it mildly! Gifts are often what we do not need or do not want, so is giving what the giver can enjoy doing, or what? In the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, it says of giving:

“It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”

The joy that Christmas can bring to many, must not be lost amongst the razzmatazz! It is summed up in Isaiah 9:6.

In a world where Peace is hard to maintain, we so need the Love and counselling of Jesus’ words in the Bible. Most of us enjoy Christmas Carols. May celebrating the birth of Jesus, not be lost amongst the hype that can be so debilitating to our souls! What is it that makes your Christmas touch the heart of the gift of Jesus?

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LEARNING MY ATTACHMENT IS TO GOD (October 2003)
by B. Love

I used to start my year’s multicultural student-teachers’ group, with this:- “A problem is only a problem until you see it as a challenge!” Their crash-course could present them with many trials and this attitude to them, proved helpful.

Who hasn’t had a difficult decision to make at some point in their life? I know how when help or advice is needed, it comes to me in many ways. I recognise now that it is about being open to it. It is also about making the effort oneself to look for where possible solutions will lie. Recently, in explaining a different difficulty to a group who had similar health problems to mine, there was a solution offered. That leads me to feel it is teamwork. God knows best, but I have to be prepared to seek his way. Because educationally, I was brought up to problem-solve, it took a long while to recognise that my decisions were flawed. I had not waited for God’s guidance.

Problems too, create opportunities to understand. What has come to my attention, is “attachment”. It usually refers to people, and the loss of them, particularly through death. Attachment about places has been on my mind of late. Places are often identified with people I know. Twenty-five years ago when I was 35, I was one of the team who started the Kibworth Chronicle. When interviewed, I said of Kibworth, “Love it. Feel I belong and would hate ever to leave.”  Now I am being made to reflect on that attachment. I know many people in the village now. I would be leaving them, and what I know and like about Kibworth. At 60, it seems a big upheaval for me to move, but I wonder if going somewhere new would mean me having new challenges, opportunities and new people to meet. Where does God want me to be?

Here are the messages I have received. Luke Chapter 6 verses 33 and 34. “Set your mind on God’s Kingdom and his justice, before everything else and all the rest will come to you as well. So do not be anxious about tomorrow. Tomorrow will look after itself.  Each day has troubles enough of its own.”

Then last Sunday, in one hymn, I said, “I will go Lord, if you will lead me. I will hold your people in my heart.”

The Bible reading, Joshua 1:9, said, “Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Are not these messages telling me lovingly to trust? Are they not God’s gift to me? Is not the battle for me against that trust, attachment, attachment to what I know and whom I know whilst on earth? I’ve never been attached much to possessions, so you can see how God works in ways to bring me closer to understanding other aspects. I feel this challenge has helped me understand the worldly quality of attachment better. I hope this sharing also helps you.

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What lies behind a “Wobble”? (June 2003)
by B. Love

My true story is about a wobble. I am basing the tale on St. Luke, Chapter 12, verse 2. “There is nothing covered that shall not be revealed.” All will be “proclaimed across the house tops”. I expect most people interpret this, as referring to anything that is believed to be unacceptable, like skeletons in our cupboards or those things we’d rather not admit to.

 A year ago, you couldn’t see my wobble but I knew it was there. Doctors felt my lack of balance was because my life was out of balance. I liked that New Age diagnosis, and tried herbal healing, reflexology and a delightful osteopath, but my wobble wouldn’t walk away.  Bucket loads of stress were pouring over me but not like water off a duck’s back. Half my body was taking umbrage and appeared out of control. Its misbehaviour terrified me. Suddenly, it was the cause of spending 7 hours on a trolley at the R.I. I thought that only happened on the News.  It was an experience I hadn’t expected.

 I’d had 58 years of good health. Climbing trees, sport and dance had always kept me very active. My 3 bone scans for any early signs of osteoporosis, went off the chart, perhaps because my childhood was not only active, but full of milk. As a child in the fifties, there were regularly 5 pints on our doorstep. With no fridge, it all had to be boiled on hot days. Boiled milk might as well have come from a cow pat, not a cow! I hated it, but it was a small thing of long ago, compared to my recent sudden decline. When an ambulance had to be called to my place of work, I found it necessary to pay for a diagnosis. Officially I was then MS!  It wasn’t the dreaded big C., but the big wobble. Somehow I took my holiday in the sun, a nurse assisting me onto the plane.

You cannot see my wobble. Unless told, you’d know nothing of it. So how many things are people unaware of? Our world likes to see success in fame, titles, material gains, specific skills, pieces of paper, awards, each achieving recognisable brownie points. Is it not easily forgotten that a huge team of producers, cameramen, make-up artists, designers and so on, are behind an Oscar award? Of course we must celebrate achievements due to skills and hard work, but how many wonderful uncelebrated qualities of others, lie behind someone’s success? Will these qualities not be shouted over the housetops? How many people do not have the luck or opportunities that lead them to fully use their potential?

As Christians, are we not more aware of a person’s Inner Peace, truly reflecting God’s gifts in action? Are talents not usefully employed when opportunities allow? We are forgiven for our human failings. God knows what led to our failures. We learn from them. In our usually privileged local community, how do those who have nothing to impress with, feel? Do they feel they can’t belong to the club because they are not good enough? What is not seen would speak volumes. Is it not then, a celebration of God in us that will one day be revealed to all through greater understanding? May we see God in all we meet and me in my wobble.  It must have its purpose!

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A Child is a Gift of Hope (March 2003)
by B. Love

My favourite childhood hymn was:-

Glad that I live am I,            After the sun the rain,           All that I need to do,
  That the sky is blue.            After the rain the sun.           Be I low or high,
  Glad for the country lanes    This is the way of life,            Is to see that I grow
  And the fall of dew.             ‘Til the work be done.            Nearer the sky.

At a recent service, the children left as normal, to attend their own classes. Only babes in arms remained. They participated from time to time. Sounding contented, they called out or sang in their own way. In the row in front, a delightful little toddler remained oblivious to the service, sermon, prayers, spectators and even Dad sometimes. He just busied himself around the chair, and up, and down off his father’s knee. He was then carried up to the altar. When his sister returned, she shared what she had made. Dad and the toddler both admired it. I had a sneaky look too!

I like it when the children come back. They look so happy going up to the altar. Then they rush to return to their parents’ pew, if they can remember where it is!. It is natural that I enjoy children. My involvement with primary schools has meant constant contact with children as well as their teachers. One of my best memories is what happened in a Beaumont Leys Infant School. I visited my student over several weeks. I’d often sit down on little chairs at little tables with the little 5-year-olds. They talked to me, and showed me their work. On one visit, a little lad, ‘skinhead’ in appearance, who had obviously noticed my visits, suddenly said ‘I’m going to give you a BIG hug.’, with which he locked his arms round me and didn’t want to let go! It made me realise that amongst these often deprived children, was at least one child who had been loved. He knew what it was to love.

In Luke Chapter 18, v.16 and 17, Jesus said “The kingdom of God belongs to children. Whosoever doesn’t accept the Kingdom of God as a child, will not enter it.”

Is it not that a young child is closer to God than any adult? They take each moment at face value. They learn to please those who offer them Love because that is what they want. It is that simple for them.

For me, this echoes the words of the former Bishop of Durham on the David Frost’s Sunday morning programme. He said that the Bible was written over two thousand years ago for that time. We have learned much scientifically since then. The messages in it should not be overshadowed by academic arguments.  Jesus wanted us to learn to love, not judge. If we are to accept the Kingdom of God as a child, it is that simple too.  My Christian faith is about wanting Love for myself and for all I meet. I won’t get it or give it, if I am less than loving in thought, word or deed. The Kingdom of God awaits the child in us.

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Godparents Matter (December 2002)
by B. Love

Godparents matter. When I was a child, I shared a bedroom with my older sister. We also shared the room with the hot water tank. Without central heating, that was a bonus. Itchy woollen vests would warm on it in winter. The small fireplace was never used, but on the mantelpiece stood a photo of my Godmother Dorothy. I didn’t know her.

Godparents matter. I remembered the twelve in ‘Sleeping Beauty’. Beautifully attired, the Fairy Godmothers brought gifts. The thirteenth one had obviously not‘ renounced the devil and all his works’! Perhaps three Godparents would have been fine! When I became a Godmother at twenty, I was given the small baby to hold. All I remember is nearly losing her in the shawl!  Recently, at a Family Service, I was surprised at how the Christening Service has changed. It is now updated for those who feel God’s blessing is important. Gone are such demands on Godparents to ‘utterly abolish the whole body of sin’, and the like! 

My godmothers certainly mattered.  Did yours? Godmother Dorothy was a teaching friend of my mother’s. She taught R.E., and Mum, taught Classics. It was at one of these schools, Mum met Enid and married her brother, (my Dad). Aunt Enid became my Godmother too.  My Godfather, A high Church of England Missionary , has always remained a mystery to me.

Did your godparents bring gifts too? My mysterious Godfather sent me an incomprehensible book when I was confirmed. Nevertheless, his gift of love and remembrance was appreciated. Bibles and Prayer Books, including a white one for my wedding, came from Godmother Dorothy. Godmother Enid gave me party frocks beyond my wildest ration-book dreams. Red taffeta or red velvet and with petticoats I wanted to show shamelessly! Later, it was more the honour she brought us all, by being awarded the OBE for her work in educational television. It was so important for my father who had suffered so many setbacks himself, and obviously, my pride is still with me!

Godparents matter. They add God’s Love to family life. My son was never christened because we had just moved to Harborough when he was born. I see now, how he has lost the blessings that godparents bring. Dorothy became my Fairy Godmother in every sense of the word. She was Headmistress of Melton Mowbray Grammar School, when in the swinging sixties, I came to train as a teacher in Leicester.  It was then I met up with the lady in that photograph. She shared her love, faith and sincerity with me until she died aged 93. Over my difficult years, she held out her hand to me. She was a rock on which I built a better life. When we could, we walked, talked and went to Church together.

Godparents matter because through them, God can give his gifts. It is not the material gifts, although I still find my christening cutlery set useful! I found the gifts of love, support, and interest in my spiritual path, so helpful.  Should not all godparents identify a quality that they can bring to the child? After all, the qualities they can offer are all God given! Worth a thought! For homework then, list twelve that you would have liked Sleeping Beauty to receive!

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My God, how great Thou art’ (November 2002)
by B. Love

When recently at Church, the final hymn was ‘How great Thou art’, I could not hold back the tears. The escaping drops ran relentlessly down my cheeks. It is a hymn, amongst a few others, that never fails to move me. It did not surprise me that it was voted the favourite hymn in a national ballot. It may not have particular musical merit, but in its simplicity, it touches the awe and wonder of God’s Love for us all.

The first time I ever heard and sang this hymn, was about 30 years ago. It always reminds me of that time. Years before, while mowing the front lawn, a passing stranger (M), stopped to talk to me. Her 3 year-old daughter (L), and mine, made instant contact on the pavement outside our Harborough bungalow. The girls were to prove very compatible, even to the extent of being mischievous! (On one occasion, they innocently drew a wax crayon line all round the bedroom wall!)

As both girls were growing up, sadly both families were marred by divorce. My friendship with M. saw me support her through mental illness caused by her husband gambling away her security. The two girls were there for each other, a bond of compatibility and a mutual understanding of each other’s confusions.

Being an only child, L. went down to London at 20, to earn a living and to support her mother financially. My daughter noted the responsible attitude of her close friend, and I felt it would give her a sense of direction too.

Suddenly, at 21, L. was struck down by a London taxi and died in hospital. Her mother, having lost her husband through divorce and now her only child, was absolutely devastated. The funeral was held at the Roman Catholic Church in Harborough. It was at this Service, I first heard and sang this hymn.

For M.’s faith in seeing God as great, after such tragedy, told me one thing. Without the Love of God, his infinite wisdom of our needs, and vision of our futures beyond our comprehension, there seems no point in our often painful lives. That is, without TRUST IN GOD’s Love for us. I saw in that hymn, the trust of my heartbroken friend. My daughter knows she lost her closest friend but may her journey lead her to the friend we all have in Jesus.

Mission Praise No. 506.  The last verse is:-

 When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation 
                    and take me home - what joy shall fill my heart! 
                    Then shall I bow in humble adoration and there proclaim,
                    my God how great Thou art!

 Chorus, sung through twice:

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to Thee,
                    how great Thou art, how great Thou art!

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